How to Stop Hiding Purchases From Your Your Significant Other
Raise your hand if you've ever hidden a purchase from your significant other - don't be shy lol. My hand is up - because I've done it in the past and I'm sure some of you reading have done this at least once. Right?
In talking to other women about this particular topic, I realized we are the masters of camouflage when it comes to purchases we know our significant others will have something to say about. From leaving purchases in the car for long periods of time to sneaking them into the house in discrete bags to keeping them until we can wear them without notice to acting like we've always had them - "you mean this old thing?", we do camouflage really well.
Isn't it funny though that for the most part, guys are more open about what they buy than us? My husband for one has no issues telling me what he's bought or plans to buy. Over the last few years though, I've made some behavior adjustments and I can now proudly say that I no longer have to hide purchases from my husband and below is what I do!
1. I talk about the things I want to buy
If I want something, I talk about it. It's that simple. I talk about why I want it, what I need to do to get it and make him aware it's something that I'm thinking about. This way when it's comes time for me to buy it, it's not a surprise and it make the conversation so much easier.
2. I have a splurge account
This is where I put money away for the expensive things I want to buy and my husband knows about it. I talk about how much I've saved, how I plan to save, how long it will take me and when I intend to make my purchase.
3. I ask my husband what he thinks
I ask him what he thinks about the purchase I'd like to make. If he hates it, I may reconsider (key words "I may"). If he doesn't agree with it for good reason, then it may get shelved for a while. If he's nonchalant, which he usually is when it comes to fashion and accessories then my plan is full speed ahead.
4. We focus on our joint priorities
We talk about our life and financial goals, not directly in relation to the purchase I want to make, but it's a given that if for whatever reason a goal is not on track or something more important comes up then my purchase gets put on hold.
Doing these simple things help me make my purchases guilt free - no more hiding crap in the car or putting packages in the corner of the garage lol.
But in all seriousness, if you allow it, money can cause serious issues in any relationship (It's the number 1 reason for divorce today) and the one way to avoid having money issues is to be open and honest with your significant other. In the grand scheme of your relationship, hiding irrelevant purchases from your spouse knowing it could cause arguments and lead to bigger issues is really not worth it!
Bola Sokunbi is the founder of Clever Girl Finance and she's passionate about helping women take control of their money so they can live life on their own terms.