If you’re ready to leave a relationship but are staying because you have no money, it can put you in a pretty bad situation. Living unhappily or feeling trapped doesn’t do anyone any good and can have many negative effects. It’s important to know when to leave a relationship and not to feel like you don’t have options when it’s time to go.
Table of contents
- How do you know when it’s time to leave a relationship? 6 Signs
- How to leave a relationship when you have no money (8 ways)
- Expert tip
- How do I prepare to leave a relationship? 4 Key questions
- When to leave a relationship: Take the quiz
- How do you know if a relationship is worth saving?
- How do you know when it’s time to leave a relationship?
- Is money a reason to leave a relationship?
- Articles related to leaving a relationship
- It’s important to know when to leave a relationship
How do you know when it’s time to leave a relationship? 6 Signs
Putting money aside, let’s look at the signs of how to know when to leave a relationship. Don’t let money drive your decisions – there are ways to leave a relationship with no money (more on this below). For now, let’s look at the signs you should leave and worry about money later.
It may be time for leaving a toxic relationship if you’ve made every effort to improve your situation (perhaps even with external support such as therapy or a mediator), but you still feel the following:
1. Feeling more pain than joy
If you find yourself constantly upset or angry in your relationship, you may be experiencing more pain than joy. You may be guilty of letting the few happy moments cover up ‘the bad’ thus forcing you to stay in the relationship.
Instead, be honest and practice listening to yourself. Look at your emotions overall, not just in the few happy moments that may be few and far between. If you find that you’re in pain more than you’re happy, it’s time to leave.
2. Your partner wants you to change
Your partner should love you for who you are, whatever that means today. Even if you’ve changed through the years, you both promised each other – for better or for worse. You didn’t promise to stay exactly the same.
If you’ve changed and they don’t like it, or you haven’t changed, and they want you to – they aren’t in love with you for who you are, and it could be time to leave.
3. You expect your partner to change
If you’ve given your partner an ultimatum or you spend your time wishing they would change their behavior, it may be time to leave your relationship. Just as you should be loved the way you are, the same is true of your partner.
You aren’t in love with someone if you want them to change so you can like them. It may be that you are in the relationship for the wrong reasons, and it’s time to move on.
4. Experiencing physical or emotional hurt
Pay close attention to how your loved one treats you. Abusive relationships and/or physical pain is an obvious ‘no go’ and a reason to leave a relationship right away, but emotional hurt can be harder to detect.
Assess how you feel on a regular basis. Are you always justifying yourself or justifying the way your loved one makes you feel?
If so, there may be some emotional damage that you shouldn’t have to deal with, and you may be better off on your own. The last thing you want is not to have a feeling of security in a relationship.
5. You are the only one putting in effort
Relationships work two ways, but it may not be worth it if you are the only one working on the relationship. Relationship communication problems can be a very big issue.
You can’t pour from an empty cup, which will happen if you keep giving the relationship your all while your partner sits back and takes the easy road. Eventually, you will burn out and won’t be able to carry the relationship or yourself any longer.
6. Feeling held back
We all ebb and flow in life, but often in different stages. If you’ve grown, your beliefs changed, or you’ve otherwise changed your life, but your partner didn’t follow suit or doesn’t have the same beliefs, it may be time to leave, so you can feel free to grow as you want and your partner can do the same.
How to leave a relationship when you have no money (8 ways)
It may feel impossible to leave a relationship when you have no money, but if you get creative, there are ways. Here are eight ideas to help you with when to leave a relationship.
1. Find a job or start a side hustle
Now is the time to dust off your resume and find a job. You may need to start by explaining gaps in employment.
Keep it brief (e.g. you took time off to have children or took a year off for personal reasons). And instead, focus on your competency to do the job.
If you decide to start a business, think about what you’re good at, and chances are you can try starting a side hustle. Whether you’re crafty, can write, can do voice-overs, or can walk dogs, there are side hustles for people of all skill levels today.
You can then save the money you earn to help you exit the relationship.
If you don’t have the time to work full-time, also consider a part-time job to get the money you need. Even 20 hours or so a week can help you put money in a savings account and increase your financial stability.
2. Sell items you don’t need
If you’re going out on your own, you may not need as much ‘stuff.’ Look around the house (at what’s yours) and sell what you no longer need.
You’ll likely be downsizing, so only save the items you really want/need and sell the rest for cash on a site like Facebook Marketplace.
3. Set a budget and organize your finances
Create a budget you can live on. Be realistic with yourself. Budget for the necessities first (shelter, transportation, medical care, and food), and then budget for the other items to know exactly how much you have.
It may be tight for a while, but the more aware you are and the more frugal living tips you use, the better.
Be sure you have opened bank accounts in your name and have a debit and credit card in your name as well. Start learning how to save and invest so you can create a security buffer for yourself.
Also, ensure that any money you earn goes directly to your separate account and not a joint account. At this time, it’s essential to keep your money separate from your partner’s.
In addition, make sure that any bank statements or paperwork you receive is in your own name and is delivered directly to you when you’re thinking about when to leave a relationship.
4. Use coupons and shop sales
Don’t go to the grocery store without a plan and a list. First, shop your refrigerator and pantry.
See what you already have and what meals you can make out of it—only shop sales for the items you need and use the best coupon websites as much as possible. Also consider store brand or generic brands vs. big brand names to save more money while you grocery shop.
5. Trade services with friends or family
If you have kids, trade babysitting services. If you are good at cooking and your friend’s husband is great at cutting lawns, swap chores.
This way, neither of you has to pay for services, and you help one another out. This can help you put more money aside to leave your relationship.
6. Ask family for help
If you live near family, ask them to be part of your support system. While it’s hard to ask for help, especially when people let you down, it’s not a sign of weakness. Most family members will be willing to help you if you ask. If you feel comfortable, you can also share with them what’s going on with your relationship.
Often they don’t know what you need and are afraid to make you feel bad. Just ask – the worst that someone can say is ‘no!’
7. Ensure your safety
While many may not be leaving a relationship due to abuse, you may have found yourself in this situation. And so it’s important to ensure you are safe. And this means securing safe housing, having access to the internet and a phone, and having cash on hand.
For resources and to create an action plan, check out the National Domestic Violence Hotline website or call 800.799.SAFE (7233).
8. Secure housing
You need to find affordable housing for when you do leave. It’s important to start looking for apartments or houses where you would have the financial resources to rent or pay the mortgage.
Consider your other expenses and financial goals when deciding how much you can pay for a home, as well as your income and any child support or financial assistance you might receive from your partner.
Expert tipRemember to plan out what you’ll do if leaving a toxic relationship. Decide whether you have time to wait and save up money for a few months or whether you need to leave immediately.
In addition, make a plan of where you will go, what you’ll do for work, and other things that will help ensure your basic necessities while you get through this challenge.
It’s also important to take the time to practice positive affirmations for self love, as well as work on confidence building exercises and maintain your mental wellness.
How do I prepare to leave a relationship? 4 Key questions
Knowing when to leave a relationship can be tough, and you also have to think about how you’ll survive. It’s different when you leave a relationship and aren’t sure where to go – you can usually find somewhere.
But you can’t make money appear out of thin air, so before you do, consider these factors.
Where will you go?
If you don’t have money, you can’t buy a place or even rent. You may not even have enough money to put yourself up in a hotel for a few days while you figure things out.
Think about where you’ll go before you leave. Do you have family who will take you in or a good friend? Is there a local shelter nearby or rent assistance for single moms and women who need to leave fast?
These are all things to consider before leaving.
Do you have money to cover your bills?
If you are leaving a toxic relationship, do you have enough money to cover your basic bills as you transition to a new life and live somewhere else? Think about food, shelter, transportation, clothing, and medical expenses.
These are your basics, but you’ll also need money for emergencies and, if you have kids, money to make sure their needs are met. Think not only this month but long term. You don’t want to end up in a situation where you’re saying, “I can’t pay my bills!”
Is your job stable and do you have a job?
If you leave your spouse, do you have a job with a stable income that can support you, or are you out of a job? If you’re out of a job, do you have prospects, or have you been unemployed for a while?
What if you haven’t worked because you’ve been taking care of the kids and feel out of the ‘loop,’ how hard will it be to find a job again?
If possible, it’s a good idea to have a job and some savings, or at the very least, start sending out your resume and going to interviews if you can. You may be able to find a new job quickly.
Do you have kids to worry about?
If you have kids, who will care for them if you get a job? If you don’t have family who can care for your children while you’re at work, you’ll need to work babysitting into your single mom budget.
Think about ways to get around the costs if you don’t have family, like swapping babysitting services with a friend or co-worker.
When to leave a relationship: Take the quiz
How to know when to leave a relationship can be difficult. Answer these questions to get more clarity:
- Are you experiencing any sort of domestic abuse, such as physical abuse or financial abuse?
- Has your partner admitted to an affair?
- Does your partner refuse to meet with therapists or otherwise try to improve your relationship?
- Is your communication non-existent despite your efforts to talk things out?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be time to consider leaving.
Abuse of any kind is reason enough for immediately leaving a partner.
However, if your problems are coming more from a lack of communication, it may be possible to resolve your differences.
You’ll need to use your judgment and find the solution that is best for you while also keeping yourself safe.
How do you know if a relationship is worth saving?
If you and your partner have different communication styles or if one of you has changed a lot since you began your relationship, it may be possible to save your relationship. These are usually circumstances that you can work through together.
However, there are other situations that you should have no tolerance for, such as a fear for safety.
How do you know when it’s time to leave a relationship?
Generally, if you feel that the situation is not improving and your partner refuses to communicate or try to understand your feelings, it may be time to separate. Going through a toxic breakup is difficult, and it may be hard to tell when it’s time to leave. But if you’ve tried to work things out and nothing is improving, you may consider moving on.
Is money a reason to leave a relationship?
Money and relationships often don’t go together. In fact, money is one of the most common reasons for getting divorced.
But what happens when you’re in a relationship and can’t get out because you can’t afford it? That happens too, and it’s almost worse.
Whether you can’t afford the divorce or you can’t afford to be on a single income, it can feel like you’re trapped. If you’ve always relied on your spouse’s income or you recently lost your own job and don’t have any prospects, it can feel like you don’t have any options.
Money has a way of controlling our lives, even when it’s forcing us to live a way we don’t want to live, but the good news is there are ways out, and you can begin transforming your relationship with money.
You can learn to budget and make time for your money, even as a working mom or a single-income household.
Articles related to leaving a relationship
If you want more information about relationships and money, check out these articles!
It’s important to know when to leave a relationship
It’s important to know when to leave a relationship when you have no money. Feeling stuck or dependent on someone you aren’t happy with any longer isn’t good for anyone.
It may take a little creativity and sacrifice, but with the right support, you can learn when to leave a relationship, even with no money. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, and remember to prioritize your mental health as much as possible during this time.